It's amazing how you can let one tiny moment creep in and start the negative talk and perceptions - it really reminded me of why so many people get overwhelmed by those moments and let the doubt take over completely.
I have felt extremely positive lately. Loving how I am looking and feeling and embraced swimsuit season and our fun family vacation this weekend. We spent four glorious days surrounded by water, family, fun and sun. The boys were having a blast lake-swimming and water-sliding, and played in their first round of putt-putt golf. It was a huge hit.
The boys and I even posed for a family picture which is so rare these days - everyone looking and attempting to get everyone to smile at once.
I remember glancing at the picture and doing a silent cheer that my hard work was continuing to pay off and I was pleased with how the pic turned out. Boys looked cute, and I - usually very critical of my own pics - was beyond happy with the way I looked.
Fast forward to our putt-putt expedition. We had such a great time together. We split the teams up and the boys enjoyed a great time with their grandparents and aunt and uncle. We snapped a couple pics while we were there and when we got home Sunday afternoon, I was able to see the final products. I hated what I saw.
How can two different pics taken by the same photographer, same night, same outfit give you two completely different feelings about yourself. AND most importantly, why did I automatically put my faith in the one that made me feel the worst about myself. I automatically "believed" that I was true to the picture in which I looked worse. It is so much easier to believe the worst about yourself than the good.
I spent a day moping and feeling a bit sorry for myself and then I had that Ah Ha moment. I opened up the good pic and looked at it and erased all of those yucky feelings. Moved on, re-set and started to realize that one picture should not bring forward all bad thoughts. What happened to all of the good thoughts I felt after glancing at the first picture that night?
I needed that mental shift. I am not throwing in the towel and saying "what's the point?" I am sticking with my process and efforts because, over the long-haul I will continue to see progress and like what I see. I will erase the negative self-talk and embrace the camera and who I am. I am not perfect and that is okay - I have a beautiful family and three boys who love me more than anything.
A picture IS worth a thousand words. I will remember this picture not for the way it made me feel, but for the amazing memories we made that night. The hole-in-ones and the fun had by all.
Enjoy your amazing day - make some memories of your own!
We are off to watch some soccer. Go USA!!!!!